Chronicles of Life with Multiple Sclerosis
For what its worth…
Just know that you’re not alone.
About one month ago I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. This is my blog about it.
Receiving such a diagnose is the most brutal experience of my life, and since the health system has proven quite incapable of helping me so far, I hope to achieve at least some therapeutic effect from these writings.
I wish to write about what led up to my diagnosis and how I will attempt to deal with knowing that I will never ever become totally well again. The anxiety of never knowing what will happen and the fear of paralysis and death.
It happened about three months ago when I noticed that the left side of my face had lost some of its feeling. It wasn’t exactly numb, it just felt a bit less sensitive. I shrugged it off and didn’t think too much of it, but after a while I decided to see a doctor nonetheless.
She ran some tests, mostly just basic motor skill exercises, which I passed with flying colors. Trumpet fanfares extravaganza. She did, however, call a neurologist, who advised that we should do more tests at the hospital.
And tests we did. At first I went through an MR scan of my brain. For those who don’t know what that is, you are strapped and sent into a tube for 45 minutes, while magnetic resonance is sent through your brain. After that they examine the charts and numbers (always with the numbers) and call you into an examination.
The first warning sign that something might be wrong was when they didn’t just totally acquit me of everything and send me home with a lollipop.
Instead they told me about the excessive amount of scar tissue they had found on my brain and that further examinations and tests were needed.
Actually four more tests, which I will describe in the next post.
Obviously I did not realize this at the time, but all this was leading up to that crucial point:
Doctor: Dear Sir. Unfortunately, you have sclerosis.
Exit: Life dreams.
Cue: Flood of tears.