Chronicles of Life with Multiple Sclerosis
I feel this to my bones. My phone barely works since I dropped it but I still wanna throw it out the window often. Bill collectors, doctors, pharmaceutical companies, pharmacies, people I have been meaning to call but haven’t and feel too tired/guilty/sick to talk to now much less update on the last month of medical drama. It gets way too much.. and yet.. still feel lonely. heh. Catch 22 I suppose.
[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat with blue eyes. Text reads: “Phone Rings. Anxiety Attack”]
The phone ringing still makes me anxious but before I went through my in-patient care the phone would send me off a cliff.
As hard as it can be to love someone- it has to be harder to love a sick person. I feel like every movie I have seen latley just highlights how tough it is to care for someone who has medical trouble
I see that enough. I can honestly say one of the worst parts about having MS is seeig how it effects my loved ones. I know it’s not my fault, and that it’s something I have no control over, but it still kills me that I’m hurting them, or that I worry them.
Iv always wanted my own family that I could love and care for to no end, but would I really be doing the right thing? Or is that a selfish dream? How can I give 100% if I don’t feel 100%? And what if my MS progresses and i get worse? If I lose my mobility, or even my ability to take care of myself? Then I’m just being a burden on my family. You can’t hurt your loved ones if you don’t have any.
On my mind a whole lot lately.