Chronicles of Life with Multiple Sclerosis
While this will probably go unread, I feel the need to post it anyway. If I can just express some of these feelings, maybe they’ll go away, and maybe I will feel better.
So here it is: Im miserable.
My misery doesn’t stem from some small injustice or petty problem, Hell I wish it did.
No, tumblr, Im miserable because Im alone. There is no one who I can call a real friend, someone who I can hang out with, and someone I can count on when I need them.
I know, my illness doesn’t make things easy, and I know that a lot of people, young and old, don’t have the patience to deal with someone who can’t keep up with them. All I want is one friend who is willing to stick it out though.
School friends, didn’t understand the illness, had other things in mind. Fair enough.
Ex, wanted the freedom, away from someone who couldn’t keep up. Okay, hurt like Fuck but alright.
And just like that, Im alone again.
Im not a bad person. Im kind and I care about people, Im fiercely loyal, and I would help anyone who asked for it. So what is it about me that drives people away? Why does no one want to be my friend?
Am I not being punished enough by being ill? My health was stolen from me, must I suffer rejection and isolation, too?
Must I spend every day alone until this miserable illness destroys my miserable little life?
Thanks for listening tumblr. If only you had all the answers to my questions.
I wish I knew the answers too… but know many of us are listening (reading?)… and while its not the same, you’re not alone. We, or I cause I can really only speak for myself, understand what you are feeling in my own ways. I’m sending you a hug and good thoughts (as useless as they may be) and keep posting. Lots of great people on tumblr understand what you’re going through in a lot of ways and are wonderfully supportive. Also, I’ve found for myself that, releasing your thoughts into the vortex of the internet is helpful on its own. Hang in there and click my ask button if you need to unload. I’m not the most quick and consistant to respond but I will always do my best.